Thursday, December 3, 2015

November wanderings and personal progress

Life with a 3 and a 4 year old is MUCH different than a 2 and 3 year old.  For some reason 3 years and 3 months is a magical number.  It suddenly gets easy!
Brayson's 3rd birthday was fun! The birthday decorating fairy came, I made cinnamon rolls for the first time and stuck a candle in that for lunch... that was his birthday cake that day (we had a family birthday cake and ice cream party the Sunday before).  We played lots with his new trains and took a bubble bath.  He is getting so big!  He is taller than Beckham now by a good inch.  He is hilarious and loves making everyone laugh still.  If you play with him, he is the happiest camper on earth.
Beckham's 4th birthday was magical too! The birthday fairy made a visit for him too.  I was sick but we all had fun playing with robots, watching movies and taking a color bath (he got bath tablets that change the water color for his birthday).  We also went to visit Santa because it was his first day at the mall and went to Chick-fil-a, a classic for the boys!  He is a little couch potato lately, loves his movies!  He still loves playing chase and batman :)  He actually just went to bed in his Thor costume so we will see if that is a new impression lol!
 The boys and I fill our days with Christmas movies (maybe too much?  It just puts the holiday spirit in our home!), ninja turtles, batman and bath time!  We have had so much fun with Halloween costumes, cookie making (and eating, hehe!), playing in the snow and so much more!
For personal progress I have been working on reading the Book of Mormon (I am in Alma 5 at the moment), saying personal prayers morning and night and being better at pondering during the sacrament. Also, I will write about titing to fulfill my Faith value experience 7.
Wow, the Book of Mormon.  I'm going to be honest right now.  I have never read it cover to cover.  Do I know the stories?  Yes.  Have I read them?  Probably most of them.  Did I love the scriptures up until a few months ago?  I knew they were true from the stories I had read and through my personal experiences BUT I didn't have a passion for them like I do now.  I am a huge reader so I knew I could do this if I put my mind to it but I was surprised to find how hard it was for me!  It was almost as if an awful power would take over me and make it so hard to read... it sounds a little cheesy, but literally, that is how I felt.  I could only think of how much I had to read until the next book and how Nephi was so long and I had never passed Nephi so why could I do it now?  After 2nd Nephi it just started clicking.  I wasn't so weighed down by reading, I was excited to at the end of the day.  Before, I always thought of the scriptures as that: scripture... a bunch of wise words from prophets way before my time.  It has been so incredible to find it is so much more than "just" that.  Not only is it wise words, but it is truly stories of these amazing men in incredible situations and how they overcame temptations, wars, and people trying to kill them.  It is their stories that flow throught generations.  Fathers and sons and cousins, passing down this incredible scripture that they only write the most precious of words.  I love how careful they are to include only the most important information.  You know that when you read even the most plain of scriptures it has truly been inspired to be written.  They knew the responsibility they had in writing in this beautiful journal-like scripture.  Who knows how many times they prayed over a scripture before they wrote it?  Anyways... I love that.
Personal prayers has been a difficult one for me.  In the morning I have to run upstairs to grab whoever is up before the wake up the other little boy!  After that it feels like a whirlwind of things and the day is half gone before I realize I didn't say prayers.  I have missed two times and it seems like my whole day feels a little worse off without my prayers.  Today I prayed for patience with the boys and I could honestly feel a little tug in my head to pull on the reins and chill out a little bit.  I am am so grateful for prayers to thank my Heavenly Father for all of the blessings He has bestowed on my little family.  I am so grateful to Him for providing my family with the means to never be hungry.  We always have a roof over our heads, and not only a roof but we are surrounded by beautiful things we have always dreamed of in the location we have always wanted to be in... Utah.  We have the gospel in our lives, and I am so, so thankful for the opportunity I have had to be Jared's wife and Beckham and Brayson's mother.  Wow.  I don't even know how to explain it.  Mom's out there, you know what I mean.  It is also a time to ask for help and to know that I am never alone.  I can ask for help with something I am struggling with, I can ask Heavenly Father to help one of my loved ones, pray for my family and their health, and I can pray for my young women.
Pondering during sacrament is difficult with two little boys (hehe) but I am doing it by talking to the boys about how Jesus loves us.  I pull whoever is closest to me on my lap and whisper to him that sacrament reminds us that Jesus loves us and is our big brother and takes care of us.   I hope they remember those little tidbit moments we have.  I am grateful for the calling we have had to teach our 12 and 13 year olds in sunday school because my first lesson was on the sacrament.  When we take it we promise to always... not sometimes... remember Christ and take his name upon us.  I have been thinking about that a lot, How we need to always remember Him and His sacrafice for us and how it gives us the ability to repent.  I myself feel like in my life I have caused a lot of his burden and I hate that.  I am grateful that I had the opportunity to repent and come back to Christ, be married in the temple and have a forever family.  Gosh I love that!  I keep saying that, I know, just make fun of me if you want ;)
Tithing is the last thing I want to write about today.  I have such a testimony of it.  In our marriage we have always been full tithe payers and we see blessings from it.  We have been blessed enough not to have to choose between bills and tithing, but I know if it came to those two choices we would absolutely pay tithing first.  We have never struggled with money and that is one hundred percent because we have paid tithing.  I don't mean that everyone who pays tithing will never struggle, but I know if you are struggling and you wonder if you should pay tithing, you pay that tithing first and I promise you will find that things come together, even if a miracle has to happen.  Everything we have, literally everything, has been given to us from the Lord.  Ten percent is the least we can do to pay him back.  I am grateful for tithing.
I hope someday my boys find this entry and realize that my faith has been strengthened through reading my scriptures and praying.  I am grateful for those two gifts from my Heavenly Father.

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