I haven't blogged since I've had my little Brayson (yes, he goes by Brayson) and I wanted to write a little bit about him. His birth was such an incredible and relaxing experience. Yes... childbirth was relaxing :) I had a scheduled C-Section so that meant I was in no labor (pain free? YAY!) and I got to know exactly when my little boy would be in my arms.
In the operating room with Beckham, it was stressful and scary because when he came out he wasn't breathing. I had a lot of anxiety about Brayson not crying when he came out. Jared was sitting right by my head and we just whispered what we thought he would look like, how much we loved him and how excited we were to have two little boys so close. I was so scared and Jared didn't leave my side once. Finally I heard the most amazing sound in the world... he was crying. Jared and I were both overwhelmed with love for him and all I could say between sobs was "He's crying!" Doctor Lash and the nurses were probably thinking I was losing it... but they will never know how much relief that brought me. The first thing about Brayson that I noticed were his lips... OH my heavens his lips were huge! That is the first thing I did... I kissed him right on the lips and told him how much I love him. I'm so thankful for that time I got to hold him. Beckham was rushed away from me after about a minute of holding him. Brayson I got to hold for about 5 minutes and they were so wonderful.
The hospital stay was so nice and relaxing. My nurses were so sweet. I have a nurse that I always think of and I honestly have a true love for her. She's seen me at my worst and made me feel amazing still. She is like a sweet grandma who holds you when you need it, rubs your shoulders when they hurt and does things for you that you don't even want to think about (hehe). Nurse Sandy will always have a special place in my heart.
The first time I got to see Beckham after, he wasn't really interested in Brayson... how is he supposed to know that that little bundle of baby is going to be his best friend and partner-in-crime? Holding him and Brayson at the same time was one of the best moments in my life. Have you ever just felt content? Like everything in the world is okay? The man I love so incredibly much was standing at the edge of the bed, my boys were in my arms and I think the only word that comes close to explaining how I feel is "complete".
Coming home was so much easier than I expected. Beckham went home with his Grandma Johnson for the night, Brayson woke up only once that night (and never more than twice on the nights following), and even when Beckham came home it was easier than anyone would imagine. I think Heavenly Father knew how scared I was, but how I had faith he would help me. My sweet friend Krissie told me that if I try my best to be the best mom I can be, Heavenly Father will do the rest. I really believe that.
Here we are, five months later, and life is just wonderful. Sure, we have our times that both boys are screaming, I have a messy house and I'm about to break down, but those times don't really stand out to me. Here are things that stand out. Snuggling with them at night, feeding them their bottles. Beckham kissing Brayson and trying to give him his binky. Brayson laughing at Beckham splashing in the tub.
Life. Is. Wonderful.
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